Monday, March 18, 2013

The Religious Sociopath

Peter is fanatically religious. Members of the Walton family rarely write or speak without incorporating scripture. They use scripture as a way of judging others using knowledge they believe to have been bestowed especially to them. They then wield this extraordinary power in supporting whatever decisions they make and whomever they decide to ban together to destroy. Even when the Walton men find themselves answering for various indiscretions, there is no hesitation to destroy the victim, without remorse. They place themselves so centered in religious communities and institutions that their passionate words are more easily believed. Christians are the least likely to believe (generally believing the best in others) that they could be so dishonest and manipulative, unless they maybe had first or second hand experiences with the coldhearted.

Peter is convincing Warren to become a priest.  If Warren were a priest, the Waltons would proudly bring him into their religious circle without worry that Warren might have a life outside of the family and in doing so see more clearly the cult-like Walton way. He would personify this extraordinary religious gift the Walton’s have spent decades to cultivate. This is not about Warren, this is about the family and what would best promote the family agenda.
Every Sunday when Peter Skype’s with Warren he asks if Warren has attended Mass. If we haven’t, he sighs a judgmental and shaming sigh. It is meant for me; Peter likes to send me messages through Skype….He then “blesses” Warren at the end of Skype sessions. Meanwhile, I still receive hostile and condescending emails. Three emails ago Peter, shaming me about child support, said, “the money I [Samantha] was able to procure from the judge.”  So while Peter looks toward the future and what Warren can do for him, playing pretend daddy when Warren needs more obvious daily support, Warren and I live day after day together creating a life with less guilt and shame and more love and freedom.

Religious talk unsettles me still; it takes me back to Peter and his family and all of the guilt, shame, judgments, and hate. I know they’ve come up with some mantra for my daughters as to how to circumvent the honoring your mother commandment…something probably like “they are honoring their mother by….tough love…” something that will justify their dishonor and hatred. I’ve heard the mantras for other Walton victims and they literally repeat the story and mantra so much, and with so much consistency between family members, it does become believable.  And thinking about the circular energy I experienced, even Peter’s very redundant, circular emails….I think the Waltons are orbiting, year after year,  a very earthly god… and that’s the Waltons. 

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your journey. Though the signs were evident from the beginning, just yesterday, I fully accepted that I have been dealing with an evil, cold, lying and scheming sociopath for 22years.

    He was a "religious" one too. Heading up a men's ministry in a large church, but coming home and bullying and at times beating me, our son in front of our daughter.

    You've inspired me to blog my nightmare to warn others of the dangers of being with these evil people.

    Thank you and May God's hand protect and guide you and your loved ones.

    Michelle x

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  2. My ex-husband's family is über-religious and dysfunctional and is very proud of once having an audience with the Pope. The ex studied in the seminary but somewhere along the line he chose not to take his vows. His family was very disappointed - there is nothing more fabulous than having a priest in the family. Well, except for lots of money. That comes first. I often wish for the sake of my children that he would join some cloistered order even now, and just go away forever and leave us all alone.

    He always does something terrible and follows it up later, in one way or another, with religion. After behaving very badly towards one of my sons he decided to send me a text message on Easter saying "Happy Resurrection Day!!!". I haven't communicated with him personally in months - he attacks my children on their own phones, not mine. So what was he thinking, exactly? It's such a confusing thing. He certainly doesn't understand what a hypocrite he is. It doesn't seem that Peter knows it either.

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  3. I'm so happy I've found this blog. I would have so much to say but I will keep it practical. I've come tu realize that we can not protect our kids from this persons because courts are not able to understand the suffering involved since they don't see a crime in most cases. But my struggle at the moment is to preserve the time i'm with my kids to empower them and to offer them the experience of peace so that then they are able to detect the difference. Of course, you know, patalogical person is always wanting to create caos in my time with the kids. I think you all know what i'm talking about. So, practical issue: why is your kid talking in skype everyday with father? are you oblged? I used to protect my kids by just answering 1 or 2 phone calls in the week but now patological person asked the court to be written we will call everyday at 9 pm. Result: he chooses if he calls or not but we are forced to answer and the bad results for me and the kids are to show. My lawyer says: don't answer. Social security says: you must answer. Patological person starts a alienation process against me in court because i don't answer. How do you deal with this?

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  4. I'm continuing with this in my next blog...
    It is incredibly difficult and Peter shames Warren if he/ me misses Skype. They simply have zero regard for the best interest of the child. Zero. I am required to facilitate two Skype sessions per week and I do. I try not to miss to show that I am the good option for the custodial parent by making contact easy for the other parent and it's court ordered. As long as your lawyer is advising you you should be ok. That means that he/she will be able to defend your actions before a judge. What you are doing is all any of us can do: do the best we can to build up our children with the time we have. I think it's really important to instill the child's own thought process and independence. The sociopath create an atmosphere of co-dependence, guilt and shame so we need to counter that an encourage that their thoughts and ideas are important and it's okay to disagree or see differently with either parent. Our family therapist offers this: tell the child, when the other parent starts to speak negatively or what they are saying makes them feel uncomfortable because it's not true in their mind, "I love you, and I don't want to hurt you (because it's all about how the sociopath feels), but I don't see things that way, I have a different perspective." This will be hard for the child because the sociopath will get angry or cry to get the child back on track, but they need to keep practicing while with you/me. Hope this helps, I'm in it to for 10 more years!!!!!

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