Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Anonymous Responses: Part III
G: I read your blog last night. it is amazing, I have a neighbor is is going through much of the same. She has 2 young kids. What resources do you recommend?
H: Your blog has captured my attention for sure. I can relate to much of what you have experienced and find myself dealing with many of the same types of challenges. Thanks for sharing your stories. Sociopaths are very intelligent and manipulative, and certainly use any bit of information against their victims. I learned that the hard way. It's very easy to lose yourself in the midst of a sociopath. In everything you read about a sociopath, I find it curious that your story is the first I can compare to where children were used to take sides with the sociopath. That is something that should be documented as a typical behavior from a sociopath. I have believed it is because that is truly their level of emotional maturity and they can easily manipulate children. I will keep reading. I feel like for the first time, I am not alone. Thank You!
I: I have been married to my husband for twenty yrs. He is mean to our children and spends no time with our two boys. I went to see a psychologist and she told me after. Brief conversation about him what his problem was. I have heard of the word but never knew the definition
[ I find this interesting because Peter did not want a son, he wanted another daughter. I believe this is because of the “father/daughter relationship” and it being easier to manipulate daughters. It is known to any of us who are on the other side of our teenage years that there is a period of time where the relationship between a teenage girl and mother is strained and difficult. And to be with a man who was triangulating and putting me in the child role made my relationships nearly impossible. Peter took normal mother/teenage daughter issues and created an impossible wall to surmount.]
J: The hard part is confronting him. I have tried many times to tell him I was unhappy but he always managed to talk me into staying and that he would change. Only to go right back to the way he was.
[I find myself talking to woman and men in various, and sometimes surprising settings, about sociopaths. At an airport recently a woman told me about a story of her husband of over 20 years. She had four children, he wanted five; she didn’t want the fifth and was asking for a divorce. For a month he treated her as he always should, connecting, being loving, treating her as precious, romantic and kind. She softened. After about a month, he turned to her one night and said, “That is done, I just wanted you to know I could do it, but choose not to because you don’t deserve to be treated that way.” She holds three jobs and cares for the children when she gets home. She’s exhausted and doesn’t know what to do; she is afraid of a nasty divorce and losing her children. He threatens to present as the perfect and attentive stay at home dad. Oh, I forgot to mention, he chooses to not work one hour outside of the home. So he is threatening that he would take the children, stating that he would be the best to care for the children since that’s what he’s already doing….the same story over and over.....]
K: im reading your blog and thinking WOW..pretty much same situation for me. but only mental and verbal abuse for me.. thats enough! it is so frustrating dealing with this. and nobody believes me. my husband, loved by all, im the crazy one…..AND he is making me out like the one with the problems. I do admit that i started this process after i realized that i dont have to take this anymore. i was so beat down and i though i was a worthless person (lots and lots of examples of things he has said to me) and …i did contact my first love. so that makes me look like i am the horrible person….this is awful. and im scared too.
[What is a person supposed to do when they go years without even the lowest level of human decency much less getting any sort of emotional need met? You are not a horrible person. We, as humans, need to connect to each other and when you’re living with a hollow shell of course you were vulnerable and of course you would look for someone with whom you had connected with. Unfortunately, they wait for us to “fail” and then take full advantage. I will share some emotional connections, mistaking a need for validation with receiving attention (in my blog), that were also used against me. You are not alone.]
L: I feel like crying as I read some of these. It's as if you've been living my life, and you have the words to explain it as I can't. His tone, his condescension, the false accusations, the embellishment, the false concern..... And I've been trying to get the divorce since…
M: The strange thing about sociopathy are the subtleties and physiology that are not aggressive enough to actually have these diseased people committed…this extreme mental chasm cannot be rectified with any amount of therapy . It's a part of the human condition and will be with us forever ….I suppose we should pray for these people , as they are 3 percent of the worlds population. I am deeply scarred forever by what she did, as she committed an act of mental suicide to me and my loving parents….but she will never know she is , because she is , and always will be , a devout sociopath.
at 9:47 AM