Saturday, November 7, 2015

A Good Place to Finish Book I: The Sociopath and the Essence of Evil

All of those hours in court, phone, text, emails, money, time... what a waste. The whole time hearing how Peter knows what's in the best interest of Warren, like he has some supernatural psychic powers to communicate in an omnipresent, transcendent way that us minions could never understand. 
No, we are back in reality and grounded in reason. The Judge has ruled otherwise: Peter does not know what is in the best interest of Warren, in fact he doesn't even know when he is psychologically abusing him. So here we are again does he realize what he's doing or not? Does he know and doesn't care or is this evil and in doing evil he thinks it's good? I'll never know and he's not worth the energy.
Peter was questioned about the spring break episode again (during a trial he scheduled and failed to appear and later called in). He claimed to not be at the drop off during motion hour several months prior, but now, at the trial, he was there. He even challenged my attorney to check the border crossing records to prove he had indeed crossed the border to pick up Warren and I had, with "my usual histrionics" prevented him from seeing Warren. So he drove a day to pick up Warren, waited, and then drove all the way back to Canada. Poor Peter. Of course Peter tried to confuse the court with his "pass the hot potato" antics, but the Judge stayed resolutely on topic taking the conversation back to spring break over a dozen times. She finally stated that she was concerned about Peter's mental health and, wow, that did not go over well. Peter's anger was so tangible you could hear his clenched teeth! He without hesitation flipped back "but I'm not the one with the mental illness, she is the one with mental illnesses... she.... is a borderline." The Judge responded that she did not see any sign of mental illness with me but was so concerned about him she ordered a full psychological evaluation to be done here. Then therapy here and when the court ordered therapist determined Peter was ready then Warren would begin therapy and then......a re-introduction period between Warren and Peter always with the court ordered therapist present. Until all of these orders are met,
Peter is not allowed any communication with Warren.
This year we are celebrating Warren's 12th birthday with a huge party. We have invited all those (we could think of) that have supported us along the way and reasonable that they could come. We have a lot to celebrate. I began the process of trying to leave a sociopath when Warren was six so this is an important milestone for all of us. 
It's hard to understand why we go through terrible things and where God is in all of it. This road has been hard and life has not been fair, I won't forget the feelings of falling into a black hole with no hope of ever getting out. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that when I gave birth and devoted decades to children that they would be taken from me. I never dreamed that my little six year old would be so close to being taken into foster care.....this road has been ugly and because of me at times. I wish I could have a few "do-overs" for sure.
Now I see more clearly. I believe in free will and evil in the world so bad things are going to happen to all of us. I also believe in redemption. And, if we can bear getting out of bed in those horrible times and look up with belief and patience, we can see God's beauty and good intentions everywhere. My best days are when I can pause and revel in the warmth of all the blessings and love surrounding me. Peace be with you. 

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A great post from a clinician..."Red Flags"
My clients often ask me to describe a "sociopath" and how they can learn how to spot one. What they're really asking is: how can I protect myself from one? Here are a few issues that should set off alarm bells. If your partner (or would-be partner) displays any of these traits, run the other way. Don't hesitate, don't prevaricate, it's time to get out of Dodge.
* Red Flag He knows your weak spots and has an uncanny way of sizig you up. Most criminals are students of human behvior and keen observers of body language. They know how to "profile the profiler" and can zero in on any weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Think of a lion and a herd of wildebeetsts. Wouldn't the lion go for the weakest of the pack?
* Red Flag He's narcissisistic, craves attention, apparently convinced he's the center of the universe. He talks about himself constantly, immediately becomes bored and disinterested when the conversation shifts away from him. He craves admiration the way a vampire craves blood.
*Red Flag He plays loose and fast with the truth. In other words, he lies. All the time. Little white lies, medium-sized fibs and giant whopprs. The interesting thing about sociopaths is that they lie even when it's not necessary. The like to exaggerate, embellish, make every story "bigger" than it has to be. Most sociopaths are known as "practiced liars." That simply means they're smooth, they're slick and yes, they can look you right in the eye and lie to your face. It's a common misconception that people can't look you in the eye and tell a lie, sociopaths do it all the time.
*Red Flag He's a control freak. He's overly concerned with his victim's whereabouts and his interest borders on the obsessive. He wants to know who she sees, what she talks about and what she's wearing. Think stalking behavior. Stalkers like to track their victims 24/7. I once had a client whose ex-husband calle and texted her over a hundred times a day. Classic stalking behavior. The only thing that stopped him was a restraining order.
*Red Flag He's angry, impatient, hostile, with a low tolerance for frustration. The tiniest thing can set him off and his anger is out of proportion to the situation. This is the kind of guy who may sideswipe a car because of road rage, curse at a waitress because she's too slow with his order, or kick the dog just for getting in his way.
*Red Flag He never takes responsibility for his bad behavior and always blames someone else. He is incapable of love, empathy, remorse or regret. The only thing he regrets is getting caught. This is why it is useless to do therapy with a sociopath. He will will try to con you every time and pretend to be "reformed," hoping to gain your trust.
We'll cover more sociopathic traits in next week's blog. And in case some of you are wondering if women can be sociopaths, the answer is yes. Think of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. She is usually singled out as the classic example of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. But many researchers believe that females with BPD are very close to male sociopaths in their thought patterns and behavior. If you come into contact with a sociopath, watch your back. They will hurt you, betray you and mentally and emotionally abuse you. stay tuned for more next week.
  Mary Kennedy is a licensed psychologist in private practice in the northeast, and the author of The Talk Radio Mysteries for Penguin. Visit her at

Monday, July 6, 2015

A Convincing Suicide or Accident...Peter I Do Believe You Nearly Did It!!

I am preparing documents to sell the house awarded to me in the divorce (though Peter still harasses me by changing addresses for the loan to Ben Walton's address. I never refinanced; only changed the deed.)

In responding to an offer, I came across the property inspection report prepared in August of 2008. There are NO markings within the report except on one page. There are markings exactly like Peter marked books: underlining the first word of the sentence and a check in the column to the right. Here is what he chose to highlight, in his unique manner:

"Why are ground fault circuit interrupters (GFCI) important? They're much more sensitive and quick to react than regular fuses and circuit breakers, thereby dramatically lessening the risk of shock and/or electrocution should an electrical device plugged into a GFCI come in contact with water. Wiring, light fixtures, and other components of the electrical system are also protected. That old cliche about knocking off your spouse by dropping a hair dryer into his or her bath water? You're likely going to have some explaining to do if the hair dryer is plugged into a GFCI."

Peter began living with a young 20 something subordinate within six months of this report (she was already working for him so I imagine the affair had already begun), my life insurance was approximately $140,000 and I had secured a home in one of the classiest, upscale and conservative neighborhoods in that county; something he could not have done on his own. 

Peter was also obsessed with Thomas Merton who died mysteriously by electric shock. Seems like a pretty easy way to kill someone especially considering later he was easily able to question my mental capacity and diabolically manipulate courts and children into thinking I was the perpetrator and abuser. How easy it would've been for him without my voice and no close family or friends to defend me at that time. 

Wow, I am still a little shaken to come across this document. I do believe I was very close to being killed by Peter's hand, with no legacy and no one to morn my death. I married a sociopath and barely escaped.  

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

What a Fabulous Example of What I Lived With....I Can Finally Comment....

This is a picture of the Easter Basket Warren put together for his oldest sister. The picture from the last post, his youngest sister. He literally had his backpack on in the truck he was so excited and had those baskets on his lap. Why I tried again after "The Family that Stole Christmas" ??? I even ordered more school pictures that year for whoever wanted them in the Walton family....why oh why...

That email is a great example of what it's like to live with a Sociopath. As I've said in early posts the walls could be painted red and they insist it's blue to such a degree you start to believe the walls are blue.

My favorite part of the email (outside of the Ms. Brown) is where Peter states definitively what we were doing, where we were, where we weren't and best of all what Warren thinks and feels. Peter abandoned Warren long ago and has no idea who the young man is becoming. 

Reality check:
Judge A approved my EPO and was not pleased it took so long to serve Peter. Of course I had legitimate concerns and remember.... the monster truly came out after I filed the first EPO. The accusation of domestic violence infuriates Peter. I dropped the EPO in favor of an order that Peter not send communications like the last post, and that we do not have any verbal communication; only email. He is in contempt calling my phone repeatedly.  

Judge C did not suggest phone contact. The Judge talked about Skype and if lies about Spring Break started she recommended I shut it down.

We have phone records highlighted and ready for exhibit showing all the calls Warren placed to Peter and both of his sisters. I have documentation of phoning emergency services, hospitals and jails. We have text messages from Warren's younger sister wishing him Happy Birthday so we know we had the correct number for at least that sister. Peter had our home address, Peter's world of unreality appears to be becoming more and more real to him. Lastly, Peter has already admitted to not being at the location in a court of law. 

What?!?! In?!? The!?! World!?!

Ms. Brown:
I am writing again to ask you to facilitate, or have someone else facilitate, regular phone contact between Warren and I. It has now been one month since Judge C gave clear instruction I was to begin phone contact with Warren. Additionally, Warren's grandparents, John and Elaine Walton, would like to speak to Warren, either by phone or Skype. Please let me know what times during the week Warren is available. 
As you well know, the references to spring break 2014 aren't relevant. I was never sent the final signed order to come from the court, which did NOT include time-sharing over Warren"s spring break. You knew this but I did not, never having received the final signed order (I didn't confirm the exclusion of spring break 2014 until I went to the courthouse to dig the order out of the file while I was in Lexington, October 2014. At that time you may recall refusing to allow me to spend any time with Warren). 
I was in Virginia Beach to pick up my son, but he wasn't at the agreed upon location. The dramatic suitcase in hand-sitting on the curb-waiting scene, as described in court, didn't occur. Your truck was not there when you said it was, only a police cruiser and a few cars not belonging to you, off to the side. No Warren. ‎ After driving all that way, I waitied and waited in the lot, and continued to watch the parking lot where we'd done an exchange a few months before, but Warren never arrived. 
You apparently were repeating the same stunt you attempted over Warren's spring break 2013 when you filed an EPO against me. Judge A's admonition to you in August 2013, when you dismissed the groundless EPO, wouldn't apply in Virginia. Even in this very email chain you threaten to file a motion against me for harassment - because I'm inquiring about phone times. 
All I wanted was to spend time with my son, and that's all he wanted as well. For his sake I didn't agree to a Skype session with a therapist, in order to explain how I was prevented from seeing him over his spring break. 
It's so unfortunate the court needs to become involved at all, but clearly it's necessary for Warren's sake. Please comply with Judge C's ‎instruction concerning phone contact. Additionally, please consider Warren's grandparents would like to speak with him from time to time. They, like me, miss Warren every day. 
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the Rogers network.

Friday, May 22, 2015

The Family that Stole Easter: Mortal Sin

The means by which God forgives sins after baptism is confession: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Minor or venial sins can be confessed directly to God, but for grave or mortal sins, which crush the spiritual life out of the soul, God has instituted a different means for obtaining forgiveness—the sacrament known popularly as confession, penance, or reconciliation. 1

I'm wondering how the confession would go for Peter; Peter and his religiosity; how in the world would he reconcile the following Easter story....

These are the email exchanges prior to Easter visitation, 

Re: Warren's spring break
April 08, 2014 10:01 PM
I've already confirmed this and will follow orders, that I established nearly a year ago.

On Apr 07, 2014, at 02:56 PM, Peter Walton <> wrote:
Ms. Brown:

I appreciate if you would clarify your intention to provide a signed note acknowledging Warren's travel with his father, for the US & Canadian Border Service. I can provide a more concrete time of arrival for Friday or Saturday as Friday progresses - April 11th. 


The next string of emails were over two days. I have cut and pasted directly from my email account and only changed names and email addresses. It is heartbreaking....after the last communication I used social networking to try and find out what happened. A mutual friend said that he was on-line as well as the girls so they chose to simply not respond. Warren thought Peter was dead. I called jails, hospitals, to try and find out if he was okay. Start at the bottom as the communication starts there.

What was the explanation? This is very confusing to me too. I've sent him an email as well. 

Thanks, Parent Coordinator

On Apr 14, 2014, at 12:39 PM, wrote:
Parent Coordinator,
He never came. You saw the emails all night and the statement he was close, etc. Warren left messages, he could barely speak he was crying. That was so bizarre and then to send that email 3 days later, apparently the explanation is in a 10-year old boy's email account that he was supposed to be checking? He couldn't answer his phone call?
This was the last visitation in our orders  (I had offered this timeshare to him); he has not mentioned summer visitation at all. This last round of games leads me to fight for Warren to not leave this country. I won't stop him from seeing him, but I don't feel comfortable allowing Warren to go to Canada again. In the past I have felt comfortable because his sisters take great care of him, but with them not answering his phone calls as well fills me with grave concern for his well being in with the Walton family. My girls have not spoken to me now for over 4 years. We are moving back into the area at the end of the summer so I can come for meetings with you and bring Warren.
All the best, Samantha

On Apr 14, 2014, at 08:37 AM, PC <Parent> wrote:
Did you and Peter finally facilitate Warren's exchange?

Parent Coordinator

        > On Apr 13, 2014, at 10:09 AM, Samantha Brown <      > wrote:
        > Parent Coordinator, Peter has made no contact with Warren since 11:45 yesterday. He has been on line and appears to be fine. Warren is extremely upset as he's been packed and expecting his Dad since Friday. Yesterday he was worried something had happened and cried off and on all day.
        > We are going to make other plans and we plan to ask for supervised time share in the US going forward with the judge. This has been sheer craziness that no one can contact us.
        > Please intervene in any way you see will help, Samantha

Warren is very upset and rightly so. He has tried to call all of your numbers at least 4 times each and both of his sister's numbers. We are asking that you let us know what is going on. The plaza is the only plaza near Warren's school and a place you have been to already. If you are not here just let us know so that Winston isn't waiting for you not knowing how to handle what is going on. Samantha

        > Sent from my iPhone
        >        > On Apr 12, 2014, at 11:59 AM, wrote:
        >        >
        >        > I may be in the wrong plaza - hold on.
        >        > Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

        >        >
        >        > -----Original Message-----
        >        > From: Samantha Brown <      >
        >        > Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 11:42:21
        >        > To:<  >
        >        > Cc: Parent Coordinator<
Parent  >
        >        > Subject: Re: Warren exchange plan
        >        >
        >        > We are in the parking lot in the truck.

        >        >
You aren't here are you? I'm not interested in any games surroundingWarren  and a border crossing. We have been extremely flexible being available for two days now. Warren is confused and we have no information for him. Be up front so I can have an accurate letter; it says YOU are taking him across the border. Warren already gets upset with the crossing. Please don't jeopardize timeshare for Warren's sake.
        >        > Sent from my iPhone
        >        >
        >        >        > On Apr 12, 2014, at 11:13 AM, wrote:
        >        >        >
        >        >        > Ms. Brown,
        >        >        >
        >        >        > I am available whenever you are able to do the exchange.
        >        >        >
        >        >        > Thank-you,
        >        >        > Peter
        >        >        > Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
        >        >        >
        >        >        > -----Original Message-----
        >        >        > From: Samantha Brown <      >
        >        >        > Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 10:58:35
        >        >        > To:<  >
        >        >        > Cc: Parent Coordinator <
Parent  >
        >        >        > Subject: Re: Warren exchange plan
        >        >        >
        >        >        > 11:30?
        >        >        >
        >        >        > Sent from my iPhone
        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > On Apr 12, 2014, at 10:18 AM, wrote:
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > Ms. Brown,
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > I understand completely on the sleep issue. I ended up stopping and was able to get sufficient sleep (ie as much as I usually get). I am quite close to the plaza now, and can meet you as soon as you are able.
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > Thank-you,
        >        >        >        > Peter
        >        >        >        > Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > -----Original Message-----
        >        >        >        > From: Samantha Brown <      >
        >        >        >        > Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 09:09:37
        >        >        >        > To:<  >
        >        >        >        > Cc: Parent Coordinator
Parent  >
        >        >        >        > Subject: Re: Warren exchange plan
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > I'm reasonably concerned about Warren's safety if you are planning to turn right around and drive again. Are you going to sleep somewhere before? I am flexible so that you can sleep or provide evidence that you won't drive all the way back with him today.
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        > Sent from my iPhone
        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > On Apr 12, 2014, at 4:08 AM, wrote:
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Update: I ran into spring break traffic, which slowed the trip considerably. I will likely be later than 10am. I can provide an update as I get into town.
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Please acknowledge receipt of the email.
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Thank-you,
        >        >        >        >        > Peter
        >        >        >        >        > Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > -----Original Message-----
        >        >        >        >        > From:
        >        >        >        >        > Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 02:19:25
        >        >        >        >        > To: Samantha <    >
        >        >        >        >        > Reply-To:
        >        >        >        >        > Cc: Parent Coordinator<
Parent  >
        >        >        >        >        > Subject: Warren exchange plan
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Ms. Brown:
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Unfortunately, I couldn't get away until 2pm today, which means I will get down to your area too late for a Friday exchange. Can we tentatively plan on 10am in the morning - Saturday? (I'll sleep and be ready to roll).
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Please let Warren know I'm disappointed I couldn't make it this evening, but I'm looking forward to the morning.
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Thank-you, and I assume the plaza we did the exchange at last time works for you - plaza, 10am?
        >        >        >        >        >
        >        >        >        >        > Peter


Warren's email account
April 14, 2014 5:43 AM
Ms. Brown,

Warren has reported during Skype sessions he is not permitted to view his email account, which his sister and I helped him set up at Thanksgiving. I would like to ask that you begin allowing him to do so. Nothing prevents you from monitoring the account to assuage any concerns.

I have sent Warren a note to his email account, and I would like him to be free to read it.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

This email came two days later in Warren's email account, above is how Peter let us know he was alive and well:

Dear Warren,

I am so very proud of you, my one-and-only son, and I'm so very proud to be your one-and-only dad. We have a special connection!

I love you and miss you every single day. Every time I miss you I pray for you. I ask the Holy Spirit, who proceeds from the Father and the Son, to be present with you, to comfort you.

You know from the Nicene Creed that the Holy Spirit is the Giver of Life. He's the glue that binds together the Father to the Son, and the Son to the Father. That's why I ask the Holy Spirit to bind us together - father and son, son and father. That's what He specializes in!

I so much look forward to spending time with you. It is such a pleasure to be around you. You are always welcome with me.

Take good care,
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network